I don't feel like sleeping even though i have a long day tmr
i think i'll end up being sleepy during technique class, omg cannot!!

i'm glad i did homework today (:

went to lamma island with elizabeth and her godparents, it was nice.
the environment is quite peaceful and the walk through the hills are quite cooling and relaxing,
i feel like i'm on a holiday, only to be reminded that i have to go to school early tmr.

i ate too much food and am feeling really uncomfortable now.
i almost vomitted especially after the ferry ride back to hongkong island.

my mum is coming on thursday!! i'm quite excited, even though i dunno where we will go.
my third brother will be going to National Service on wednesday ):
i'll really miss him. hahahha but we're already in different country lah so actually not much dif.
the house in Singapore will be left with so little people, just my parents, second bro and my maid.
from 7 people become 4 people.

i can't wait to go back for christmas.
aiyah sian i keep saying that.

i really need to lose some weight lah.
i think cy laoshi will be shock the next time she weigh us cos i've been eating too much these few days.

i hope the next week will go smoothly...

FINALLY got internet in my house.
thats good (:

I feel like i've been here for agess, but in actual fact, its only two weeks.
i hope october comes faster, hope my mum comes faster.
I wanna go back to Singapore some time this year, but i can't because i don't have much holidays.
I don't want the next time for me to go back to be chinese new year, cos its next feb omg.

recently, classes has been bad for me.
Every single lesson, caiying laoshi will call my name and scream at me for doing something wrong.
argh i wish i'm more flexible and stable.
i feel like i'm getting tighter and tighter lah.
and omg caiying laoshi is going to bring her weighing machine to weigh us every friday. thanks man -.-

i can't do anything properly in all my classes lahh...

i don't understand how the people around me manage to be so good, i wish i can be like all my teachers. and living in the same house with a ballet pro makes me feel so demoralised.

ah crap even i cannot stand myself complaining.

i'm just going to do something else.

sianned.

still haven't gotten any internet, its been two weeks..and it's kind of boring because i don't have a television at home too.

but yaye i'm gonna get internet connection from joni tmr cos she has an extra one.
and the ever so kind alisa will be donating her television here next tuesday! i'm really so thankful for the both of them(:

its been a little more than a week of school and i'm quite sure i'm starting to feel tired from the classes and OH MY GOODNESS TO ALL THE PRESSURE. i'm such a dance retard really and even if all the teachers are starting out with all the simple and basic stuffs, i feel as if i can't do any of then properly. Its always never enough and this and that.

Folk dance is kind of difficult for me, i always knew i was never a ming jian wu person. I wanna dance like all my teachers, but i can never do that.
i can't believe i'm feeling stressed about most of my class when it is barely the second week of school.

Having chinese technique everyday really kills my body, and i can totally feel my body getting more achey and tight as each day pass. It's like i have to use extra strength and energy in class everyday in order to do the class. But i glad that the class pushes me, not that i enjoy being competitive in class, but i'm thankful that i have a teacher like caiying laoshi to scream at us everyday.

shen yun has been fun, although i was quite unhappy at a certain point of time, but i enjoyed most of the classes.

I wish contemp classes could be faster, but i'm quite sure it will soon...i think..

Life in APA now is really quite different from last year.
somehow, i kind of miss common year, i miss being in THE common year class.
Right now everyone has been split into their own majors and groups, i feel like we're all starting to be strangers all over again.
i know its inevitable that we'll all drift apart, but seriously, a part of me just don't want to.


sometimes the life here really makes me wonder if i can really stay here for another 4 more years....

it'll be perfect if my life in Hongkong and Singapore could happen all at the same time.
I miss Singapore, my family, my friends...

First day of school with technique classes coming in.

went to school today quite nervous about taking classes as a second year.
its a familiar feeling walking to school yet i was still quite scared and lost when i was walking to my first class.

the first class was technique skills, and i was like running around the school with elizabeth because we were quite confused as to where the class is, and i can't find any of my class's girls.
haha we ended up meeting in to the dean of and dance and she was like asking if we were lost.

in the end we combined with the male's class, but its for a month only lah
well, class was....similar to last year's chinese technique because its Billy Sir.
but i'm sure today was just a "warm-up" class haha. good good, prepare me first.
cos i was already shaking, wa lao i'm so weak after the holidays lah

then chinese technique class with the degree 1 students.
oh man, the class is TOO big ):
i was kind of looking forward to have classes with little ppl, but in the end we still combined with the year threes

had lunch and then chinese folk afterwards. and i can't do wei wuer for nuts, i've never really done it before and i think i'm so retarded lah sian diao. nevermind, just practise lo

oh and one good thing today is that elizabeth can finally start taking class from tmr onwards, yayes!


i'm at my aunt's place now and their house is so comfy and nice lor, i wanna stay here for like..forever!

i hope my mother comes here soonnnn

i think i'm gonna ache tmr, especially my yao lor
and the first lesson tmr is chinese technique with caiying laoshi, wah i'm gonna die, and i'm freaking scared actually

hais i should just go to sleep. and i don't have to wake up early tmr (:

its been another day of hongkong.
can't really say i've settled in already, cos i still keep thinking of Singapore.
but oh well, at least there are proper things for me to do today.

went back to school for some orientation things, saw a lot of people who actually bothered to come back for this talk thing. Managed to catch up a little bit with the classmates, and i guess everyone has changed their image in one way or another (other than me ofcourse) and its good to feel the atmosphere of school again..

sometimes i really hate to be alone at home at night. it really makes me think of so many things, and the past two night were really terrible for me. but i'm much better now, i just have to keep reminding myself that school starts tmr and dance classes starts on wednesday, at least it'll keep me busy for a little while.

i feel so sorry for elizabeth. I don't dare to imagine how it feels to not be able to start school where you are all here and ready, and two weeks isn't a short period of time

even i feel stiff and uncomfortable not dancing for 6 days since i've been back here in hongkong.

Its weird.
I'm not excited for school, i'm not looking forward to living here in Hongkong.
Call me a spoilt brat but i want to be back with my family.

haha, i know i can't
and i know i will still stay here to finish my studies.
i've never doubt my decision to come to hkapa to dance, but i think i've underestimated how i would be able to cope with the environment and life here alone.

and i really thought that i've learnt to be able to live by myself after one year, and to say the truth, i've been starting to enjoy living alone towards the end of last year, but somehow this summer trip back to Singapore made me so attached to everything there again.

It hard to keep switching like that you know, to have to constantly change the lives you have in Hongkong and Singapore.

Right now, i just want to keep myself busy, to go for a zillion dance classes, to have the motivation and self-disipline to improve my dancing, and to not get fat.


to a really special someone,
Sometime things aren't what you've expected and it can be really hard to get used to, but i believe with time, things will slowly fall into place. School, house, friends, life. This period of time may be be difficult, but you'll definately get through it.
Coming to hongkong with nothing can be quite saddening, but its really up to you to make yourself be happier living here, to make friends, to take initiatives.
It may feel a little scary, it may feel weird, but i think it's important to take that first step, because seriously, its your life that you're living.
I know it sucks to have to do everything by yourself, I wish i could be there whenever you need help, and i'll feel sad when things are beyond my control, but i hope that you know, i just a phonecall away.

i miss home a lot.

and i really really wished that my mother could be beside me right now.
Its really hard for me, i don't know why..

i just want to go back to Singapore right now.
and its so shitty cos now everyone will think that i'm such a 3 min person.
i don't really know what exactly is going through my mind now

but all that i know is, my life now sucks.
i hate it. and i don't know what to do with it now.

so what if i have friends here in hongkong, i realise that at times when i really need someone beside me, the only person who will always be there to listen to me, is my mother.
even if she doesn't know all my problems, i just feel contented as long as she is beside me.
and i know i haven't really been spending time back home for the past 2 months, but i really really enjoy being in the house, knowing that my family is here with me.

my throat is feeling sour, my heart is sore. I can't help it.
and i don't know how to save myself anymore.

sometimes, i feel like i can't talk to any of my friends, maybe its just me being oversensative, but i feel like i'm like a back up plan, and the friendship is just there because it was there all along.
ahh, i should have guessed, we'll all make other friends as time passes by.

i'm starting to lose control of myself, starting to be an irritating spoilt brat. i'm sorry if i was attention seeking, i'm sorry if i kept repeating my lines, it just sucks to be alone you know.

and i feel like crap now.

but who cares lah right.




everything is not what it's supposed to be and i'm just so tired of all these.
i'm not brave, i'm not strong and two nights of crying ain't gonna solve all these problems.

but i really can't help it, when i think of everything.



i just wanna hug my mother right now

went to school today for rehearsal
had quite a nice time
i kinda can't remember all the steps so fast, but its okay cos its fun!
and i'm sure i'll be fine with a little bit more practise and partnering
its fun playing with the chairs and all the exagerated musical thingy..

later on some of them went to join the GYDP contemp class, but some of us felt quite odd cos we weren't exactly allowed to join.
so some of us just sat outside the dance room and talk. for a really long time.
and i felt nice cos we've been able to share so many things with each other.
then after the contemp class, everyone of us decided to join the African dance class.
it was fun! and weird for me, but who cares, its just something different.
and i think i look stupid sometimes, which really makes me laugh lah
haha but there is always a first time (:

then we just slack at the usual place at the bridge.
and we had quite a lot of heart to heart talk, it was nice
i think i must really work harder here, cannot slack too much! (:

met Zixin later on with jensen at Zixin's hotel
talked about staying together and everything, but i don't know also lah..very complicated
anyway nice to meet her, so there is another malaysian in HKAPA liao
welcome to the family!!

i wonder when will another Singaporean come to HKAPA
i'm like the only Singaporean here
lets hope another one comes next year (which technically is this year) :D

i still haven't got the white shirt for the choreographic showing on monday.
but where to get leh?

Dimsum tmr before watching the guy's performance!

its keith's last lesson with us.
we did like everything.
it was quite fun actually, i hope we'll have a good showing next week for the combis!

sang a surprise birthday song for camile during chorus
and she was like.....as high as ever.
she is really 24 hours energetic lah, it reallyy crazyyy
but it quite fun cos she is always so high and its quite funny sometimes too.
her last lesson with us this winter term too. awwww...she is really great!
the good thing is...she is going to be our chorus teacher next semester!!!!!!! YAYE

and i'm confirm taking acrobatics and chorus for electives next semester.
jazz and tap not sure yet..still thinking...
maybe i'll take jazz...don't think i'll take tap bah.
returned the tap shoes to my senior liao.
haha i feel so bad that i borrowed her tap shoes for half a year, and i'm so grateful that she doesn't mind!

oh wendy's rep audition today.
hahaha. i got nothing to say.

back to ballet next week...
and i have duo duo's choreography showing next monday! i'm so scared for that lah
i hope i'll not make any mistakes man...i better not.

rehearsal in sch tmr for " we go together "
hahahha our pro jensen choreographer!